Maybe.

I was supposed to go see Gungor on Saturday night. They're phenomenal. I bought my ticket and was pretty pumped, to say the least.

This weird "perhaps I shouldn't go" feeling haunted me when I bought the ticket, but I shrugged it off. I love seeing them live, and I'd be free that night. However, that "perhaps I shouldn't go" inkling grew into a "don't go" command. I couldn't go to the concert with a clear conscience, and I lacked a logical reason.

God was saying no. But, I really wanted to go!

I assumed that something awesome was going to happen on Saturday night. What? I don't really know. My friend and I joked that I'd meet the man of my dreams and everything in my life would fall into place. I just figured that, because I was being obedient and didn't want to, God owed me a great surprise.

I curled my hair and dressed up, just for kicks, and attended a friend's a capella concert. I lost my keys, found my keys, and headed home around 7. On the way home, I picked up some kale and bananas from Walmart. A beautiful bunch of flowers caught my eye. So, I grabbed them, too. That night, I practiced my guitar for praise team on Sunday and wrote a song.

As I sat in my apartment by myself, I fluctuated between loving the peace and quiet and moping from the lack of epic circumstances.

"God, why am I sitting here alone in my apartment, not really doing anything? Why didn't you make something awesome happen? I feel I'm crazy because nothing cool happened tonight."

His response shook me. "Am I not enough? I just wanted to spend time with you."

I talk about waiting on the Lord a lot. I remind everyone that we wait on Him for Himself and not for what He can give us...
Maybe He's been waiting on me this whole time.